8 a.m.

Dear Lilly,
I'm sorry I'm neurotic. It must be in my genes. I love you dearly. I just want the best for you. I'm slightly crazy but hopefully my love for you will overshadow the craziness.

I love you,
Mommy

I am officially blaming my gene pool. If there's a family member reading this who can relate, please, please contact me and let me know. Misery loves company.

Lilly's preschool is on a color kick. Every other week they ask us to send our child to school wearing a particular color. For yellow day I had to run out and buy a yellow t-shirt. For the upcoming orange day I ran out and bought Lilly an orange Halloween shirt. For red day today, I ran out and bought her a red shirt and matching hair bow. No, Lilly didn't formerly have any yellow, orange, or red clothing. None. Nada. Not a single item. And next up is black. Black! Black!?! Lord give me the strength I'll need to find the perfect hair bow.

Here is Lilly this morning at 8 a.m. in front of Target. We needed shoes to match the new red ensemble she's wearing. I kid you not. The genes, remember the genes? A red shirt with black and white flowers goes with black, or red, or silver. It does not match brown, pink, or mauve shoes. It just doesn't. I tried to get past it, I really did. But I couldn't do it. So we headed to target an hour before school to find shoes that would match the red shirt.

Target has adorable red and silver sparkly shoes. But not in Lilly's size. Target has shiny black mary janes. But not in Lilly's size. Ella was pulling down all the shoes on the aisle and sucking on the tags. Lilly was begging for purple sparkly Hello Kitty shoes. I was sweating and taking yoga breaths. Out of desperation we settled on a black, cheap looking pair of mary janes. Hey, they at least matched.

Lilly loved them and proudly waited in line (with the shoes on) to pay for them.

I want to be able to put Lilly in non-matching clothes with messy hair and no hair accessory. I do. I really do. But the thought of that gets my heart beating irregularly and I don't want to have to go to the hospital because I'd miss my girls. And Andy.