The Things the Books Don't Tell You

I had a true test in parenting today and I think I failed miserably. Lilly has taken music for 10 months with the same 8 kids and their moms. She LOVES it. Can't get enough of music and dancing. A little girl in her class, Kaitlyn, has always been a bit obsessed with Lilly. Kaitlyn is three. She loves to give Lilly hugs and tries to pick her up. Usually it's under control. But today was a nightmare and this is where I failed as a mom - chief protector of Lilly. Kaitlyn started grabbing Lilly from the minute we walked in. She continued through the 45 min. class giving her great big bear hugs oftentimes grabbing her neck. Lilly tolerates the "hugs" but clearly doesn't like them. Twenty minutes into the class Lilly started acting really aggressive and running all over the place. She stopped participating with the songs and was just wild. I have seen her act this way once before when a little girl in her nursery school class hugged her and took her down to the ground over and over. So that time in nursery school I took her out of the room to calm her - we walked and talked and when we went back she was calm again. So today I took her out to try to settle her but the minute we walked back in Kaitlyn ran over and grabbed her. Well my blood was boiling. The mother kept looking at me and shrugging with a 'sorry' look on her face. And she kept saying, "Kaitlyn, be gentle!" "NO!" I wanted to shout, "Don't be gentle, stop touching her!" But instead I smiled and tried to endure the attacks. At one point I did say to the mother that it was really revving Lilly up and she said, "I'm sorry."

As I got in the car and started driving home I looked back and saw Lilly with her head to the side in her car seat with her binky and lovey; passed out. Guilt overcame me. I knew I was angry with Kaitlyn's mom for not intervening but what did I do to protect Lilly? Nothing! I didn't want to step on toes or upset anyone so I did nothing. And in the end my child suffered. So next week I have decided to tell Kaitlyn from the start of class that she can save her hugs for the end of class but none during class. That's what I've decided and I hope it works.