This weekend I did something I've never done before. I became stressed and said (out loud for Lilly to hear), "I need a break. I need a break. I need a break! Mommy needs a break!" As I was saying it I thought to myself, 'There's no need to voice this' but I kept saying it. Lilly followed me to the front storm door as I stood and looked out and said, "Daddy needs to come home. Where's Daddy?" Then I made a decision that Ella would go down for her nap, Lilly would play quietly in her room, and I would take the break I needed. And that's just what I did.
What prompted this break that I so desperately needed? There were several things and then there was the icing on the cake. Andy worked the last couple weekends on the front porch and of course he works during the week. Ella likes to be held by yours truly all day long. She weighs somewhere around 23 pounds. It was Saturday and Andy was working all day on the porch again so there had been countless days in a row of very few breaks (not complaining, I love the porch and Andy hasn't had any breaks either!).
Lilly wanted to go to Target to get popcorn so we headed to Target. I wrote a list and got some things that we needed while we were there. Ella was strapped into the cart as tightly as I could make the lap belt but the one time I ventured 2 ft from the cart I returned to her standing in the cart with the belt around her ankles. I began to sweat (I do this when I'm flustered) and Ella began to fuss. Lilly was melting down because she wanted to buy something/anything. I headed to the check-out and got the heck out of there. As I was unloading the bags Lilly was wanting to open M&M's that I bought to make trail mix and I told her that she had to wait for me to finish unloading the bags. She didn't listen and ripped the bag open and M&M's went all over the floor and into 2 other rooms. It was at that moment that I just sort of broke down. Ella was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor whimpering for me to hold her when this happened and quickly began scarfing down M&M's as fast as she could.
Lilly was upset and apologizing in between eating handfuls herself. I was on my hands and knees frantically trying to clean them up before Ella ate them all. 
I just hit a wall. I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted a break and I wanted it immediately. I even left all the M&M's on the kitchen floor when I went upstairs and put the girls to sleep (Lilly fell asleep on the chair in her room while I was putting Ella down). Then I promptly crawled into bed and watched TV until I felt like myself again.
The funniest part of the story is that Andy came home and was putting beer in the fridge (we were having friends over for dinner) and one of his beer bottles hit a can and the can exploded. I had left the M&M's all over the floor so we were left with wet, beer-soaked M&M's. Nice.
What prompted this break that I so desperately needed? There were several things and then there was the icing on the cake. Andy worked the last couple weekends on the front porch and of course he works during the week. Ella likes to be held by yours truly all day long. She weighs somewhere around 23 pounds. It was Saturday and Andy was working all day on the porch again so there had been countless days in a row of very few breaks (not complaining, I love the porch and Andy hasn't had any breaks either!).
Lilly wanted to go to Target to get popcorn so we headed to Target. I wrote a list and got some things that we needed while we were there. Ella was strapped into the cart as tightly as I could make the lap belt but the one time I ventured 2 ft from the cart I returned to her standing in the cart with the belt around her ankles. I began to sweat (I do this when I'm flustered) and Ella began to fuss. Lilly was melting down because she wanted to buy something/anything. I headed to the check-out and got the heck out of there. As I was unloading the bags Lilly was wanting to open M&M's that I bought to make trail mix and I told her that she had to wait for me to finish unloading the bags. She didn't listen and ripped the bag open and M&M's went all over the floor and into 2 other rooms. It was at that moment that I just sort of broke down. Ella was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor whimpering for me to hold her when this happened and quickly began scarfing down M&M's as fast as she could.
Lilly was upset and apologizing in between eating handfuls herself. I was on my hands and knees frantically trying to clean them up before Ella ate them all. 
I just hit a wall. I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted a break and I wanted it immediately. I even left all the M&M's on the kitchen floor when I went upstairs and put the girls to sleep (Lilly fell asleep on the chair in her room while I was putting Ella down). Then I promptly crawled into bed and watched TV until I felt like myself again.The funniest part of the story is that Andy came home and was putting beer in the fridge (we were having friends over for dinner) and one of his beer bottles hit a can and the can exploded. I had left the M&M's all over the floor so we were left with wet, beer-soaked M&M's. Nice.
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