Sweet Ella's having a hard time. She's had so many ear infections (12!) and we finally had our long awaited ENT appointment at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia). I assumed the doctor would talk to me and say, "Oh yes, twelve ear infections, let's put in tubes" and we'd schedule surgery. No. The nurse saw us first. Took a quick history and told me the next step was a hearing test and then the doctor would determine whether he'd meet with us (!!). We went back to the waiting room and waited. They called us and we went back to first have a picture of Ella's eardrum taken. The audiologist was lovely and said there was no movement in either eardrum. I said, "Is that good?" Um, no. I'm clueless. The eardrums are of course supposed to vibrate and move. The next step was a hearing test. We went into a dark room. Ella sat on my lap and the audiologist went into a booth separated by glass. She told me not to give Ella any clues. Piece of cake! Well, I was shocked... She first came on the right speaker and said, "Hi Ella baby! Hi sweet girl!" Nothing. Ella didn't turn in the direction of the sound. Then, she came through on the other speaker. Nothing. Ella was still looking up, down, and all around but not in the direction of the audiologist's voice!!! After each tone/voice that came through a bear playing drums with lots of circus lights came on. It was loud. Ella always acted startled and turned in the appropriate direction. I wondered deep down if the bear was coming on because Ella was not hearing the sounds. She did end up hearing many sounds during the test but I knew she had failed. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I had no idea she couldn't hear well. When the audiologist came in I said through tears, "She failed didn't she?" and the doctor confirmed that yes, she had not done well. We were sent out to wait again and of course we were able to see the doctor.
When the doctor came in I was struck by how rushed I felt. CHOP is the top pediatric hospital in the country. We are so blessed to live so close and be able to use all CHOP specialists for our kids. We don't even need referrals with our insurance so it's so nice to always see top doctors in the field. But I have noticed that they do not have the best bedside manner. I really don't care if they're great but it's an observation I've made a few times. Dr. Jacobs was nice. He smiled. But he was very matter-of-fact and told me her hearing test was not good and her ears were filled with fluid. He explained that is most likely why she failed the hearing test and would need tubes as soon as possible. Six weeks after her surgery she will have a repeat hearing test and the hope is that she will pass with flying colors. He also added that she will likely need speech since she has not correctly heard sounds/words for a long period of time. I felt like a failure. I told him I felt horrible for waiting so long and he said, "Yes." Yes!!! He said, "Yes!" He was right but my pediatrician kept telling me she'd outgrow it. I wanted to take her when she was 9 months old but they kept telling me to wait and I trust them. By the time I decided to make the appointment I had to wait 2 months to get in. So now, she's 15 months old and has moderate hearing loss due the back-up of fluid.
When the doctor came in I was struck by how rushed I felt. CHOP is the top pediatric hospital in the country. We are so blessed to live so close and be able to use all CHOP specialists for our kids. We don't even need referrals with our insurance so it's so nice to always see top doctors in the field. But I have noticed that they do not have the best bedside manner. I really don't care if they're great but it's an observation I've made a few times. Dr. Jacobs was nice. He smiled. But he was very matter-of-fact and told me her hearing test was not good and her ears were filled with fluid. He explained that is most likely why she failed the hearing test and would need tubes as soon as possible. Six weeks after her surgery she will have a repeat hearing test and the hope is that she will pass with flying colors. He also added that she will likely need speech since she has not correctly heard sounds/words for a long period of time. I felt like a failure. I told him I felt horrible for waiting so long and he said, "Yes." Yes!!! He said, "Yes!" He was right but my pediatrician kept telling me she'd outgrow it. I wanted to take her when she was 9 months old but they kept telling me to wait and I trust them. By the time I decided to make the appointment I had to wait 2 months to get in. So now, she's 15 months old and has moderate hearing loss due the back-up of fluid.
I told Dr. Jacobs that Ella has been up crying for 2-3 hours a night, every night, for over 2 weeks. I thought it was because I weaned her but he confirmed my fear that she was in pain. He said the fluid probably builds up overnight and the pressure wakes her and keeps her awake. Double sigh and double feeling of failure. I asked what I could do to help and he said to keep giving her Motrin. I scheduled her surgery and am freaking out that it's March 16. The first available was the day we come home from Disney but we wouldn't make a morning appointment so I settled with the next available. That's a month of sleepless nights. A month of holding her for hours. A month of medicating her to get through the night. A month of pain for our sweet baby. A month on top of the two weeks she's already endured. I feel stressed, tired, and hopeless. I called to see if we could arrange an earlier surgery but she oh-so-sweetly reminded me that we're dealing with the top doctors in the country who in turn are treating the most profound ENT issues of children who come from all over for treatment. It definitely gave me perspective but I still feel sorry for our baby.
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