I'm Going to be a Big Sister!

Lilly wants you to meet her little sister!

Poor Bunny Babies

Very sad day - this morning when we woke up the baby bunnies were missing from their nest. Momma bunny is frantically running around the yard all day and I can't get over it! Andy of course reminds me it's the circle of life but I tend to dwell and will have trouble getting over this. It's so sad!!!

*This is not a picture of our bunnies though they looked the exact same. This is a google image.*

Caught with "Soup"

Lilly got a new rug in her room! While we were putting it in she decided to sneak away and get into her lotion that I keep on the dresser. She loves to put it on but has to be supervised. I caught her in action.

Great Day

Today was so exciting! Krissy and Savannah came to visit us for most of the day! They were in from Minnesota visiting family and spent their final day with us. Oh how I wish Krissy still lived here and we could raise our kids together. It's bitter sweet to say the least. We enjoyed chatting (face to face) and watching our girls play. Savannah is so adorable and has a magnificent personality! She's so happy and friendly. Here are our precious girls...

Getting ready to leave for the airport with goldfish snack.
So good to see Krissy. Hopefully Lilly and I will get out to MN to see them some time.

Another Beach Day

Another beach day (really just morning) with a friend. This was our first beach trip with a little friend and no older kids to help out! Here is my friend Stephanie, her son Jordan, and Lilly.They had fun though there was a lot of breaking up rough play, sand throwing, etc.

Lilly always needs a rest at the beach! If Jordan would have let her lie down alone she probably would have drifted off to sleep but instead he kept body slamming her...
So I've decided, an ideal beach trip would be me, Lilly, and Stephy (our friend's 11 year old). Lilly loves Stephy and they would play together, we could go on walks, boardwalk, etc. So that will be my next attempt. But we did have a nice time even if it wasn't completely relaxing.

Baby Bunnies!

Andy found a bunny hole in our back yard. It's so neat! Mommy bunny has made a nice nest/hole for her babies. There is a bunch of bunny hair helping cover the nest from the mother's fur. I think that's so cool. We saw (and I pet) at least 2 babies in the hole. Today I leaned down and could hear them squeaking so I think they're almost ready to hop out of the nest!
Lilly looking at the bunny hole. She is obsessed with it now! But Momma bunny stays close by.

I was afraid the mowers would mow right over it so Andy and Lilly roped off the area.
Lilly loves helping Daddy with projects!

Lilly's First Friend!

Today Lilly's friend Sophia stopped by for an impromptu visit! Yay! We just saw her at her 2nd birthday party this past weekend and today they were in town for her 2 year pediatrician visit. I was thrilled they called to come by for a visit. Both girls stripped down to swim in the pool (Lilly is a bad influence this way!). It's been so fun watching them grow up together basically from birth. I really miss having Christine live right down the street. Really enjoyed our walks together, shopping, chatting, etc. Here are the girls in the pool (check out the GORGEOUS head of hair on Sophia! Just like her Mommy).


Here are the girls when they were just babies...


And here they are today 2 years later!! So cute!


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Baby Bump

I have been asked by many about my pregnant belly. I have also been told I don't mention the pregnancy much. Well... I think after going through 2 miscarriages and trying for almost 2 years to get pregnant I have become very fearful of loss. So it has been hard for me to embrace that I am actually pregnant! I think I'll believe it when we have our anatomy scan next week and find out that the baby is indeed healthy and the sex. Hopefully then I'll begin to breathe easy. So with great reluctance here is a picture of our new baby... I obviously have no shame.

Busy Saturday

This morning our street (8 houses) had a yard sale. Lilly sat in her seat (which we sold) while Daddy set everything up! We made $368 and it was really a fun time. We sat and enjoyed the weather (no humidity and gorgeous). Lilly wandered around, hung out, talked with neighbors...

Then we headed to North Jersey to Sophia's 2nd birthday party. It was also a really great time. We took Stephy and Victoria with us (Victoria was Sophia's neighbor before they moved). The kids stayed in the pool most of the time.
They have a gorgeous home inside and out.
Lilly with Stephy and Victoria. Lilly is FEARLESS this summer in the pool. She jumps into deep water whether you're there or not (SCARY) and is a total risk-taker. I need to give her some lessons. She even willingly goes under sometimes.

Thank goodness Andy stayed in with her most of the time. She makes me a nervous wreck.
Visiting with Christine and Sophia in the pool. I wasn't going to get in but there was NO shade and it got very very hot. At one point I got a little lightheaded and figured I better get in. No shame... Christine is also pregnant and we have the same due date!
Lilly actually chooses fruit over cake! Here's the proof...
On the way home we saw 2 mother turkeys with babies. I have never seen this before!!!

Fashion

Remember this bag? Well it's on sale for...
Half price isn't too shabby! And would you like to know how sweet my husband is? He reads the blog (of course) and saw that I liked it and was going to buy it for me as a surprise! I would have killed him for spending that kind of money but I think it was so sweet that he would do that. Thanks Andy!!!
Oh and we were actually at the mall getting Andy a Brooks Brothers suit (thanks to everyone that has given him a gift card! He saved them up and was able to get a really nice suit for very little) and Lilly and I stopped in the new Apple store. She was in heaven at the kid's table. Snapped a blurry shot with my phone. I thought it was really cute.

Crazy Lilly

What can I say? This is our crazy child. And she never runs out of energy. And yes, you are able to see how messy the house is. But that's ok. **The "junk" on the floor in a pile is for a yard sale tomorrow.**

Yummy

Lilly and I found this tree in the park. I was sure it was a blackberry tree and have fond memories of eating them off a bush in my neighborhood all the time as a kid. I later found out that blackberries grow on a bush and this is in fact a mulberry tree and these are... of course mulberries. And we ate them and they're good (and safe too).

Jumping for mulberries!

Got it. "Yummy Mommy!"

She even ate the ones that were red and not ripe and she giggled the whole time.

Wednesday

There's just nothing to report on today. Sorry. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more eventful!

Oh, I do love this bag and wish I could have it. But I can't.

French Connection Leather Buckle Front Bag $324.45

Father's Day Saga

Well I had great intentions for my dad this Father's Day. He has always loved to cook and loves lobster so I figured I'd send him a live lobster. I found a company in Maine that ships live lobsters (same day) and I ordered him a live 2lb lobster to arrive on Saturday - the day before Father's Day. He was even waiting home on Saturday for the package to arrive.

On Thursday I received an email from DHL saying a shipping label was being printed for 1 package "To Kristin From Kristin" and I thought, hmmm, I wonder if they have the right shipping address? So I called them and was told it was no problem and they would check my account and call me back. They never called back so I assumed they had the right information.

Well, my dad should have been waiting at MY house in NJ on Saturday because when I arrived home from gymnastics with Lilly this was on my front porch...

I went into a panic. How the hell am I going to get this LIVE (adorable, breathing, beady eyes) lobster to VA TODAY? Oh gosh, panicking - searching for the phone number and finally found it. Called the company and told them what happened. Very young-think-18-not-so-nice kid on the phone says, "You got the guys name you spoke to? How'm I s'posed to know you even called and we were busy yesterday so he probably got busy" - are you kidding me? I was floored. I am holding the phone shaking and pissed. I go around and around with him until finally I can't take it anymore and I say, "Listen, I don't think that you and I are getting anywhere so I would like to speak to a supervisor about this" and he says, "Well that's funny 'cuz I'm the owner."

Shit shit shit shit. That's all I could think at that moment.

"Listen buddy, I cannot pay for 2 live lobsters and I need to remedy this situation..." blah blah blah it escalates into a shouting match (which regardless of what my husband would tell you about our communication I do NOT like confrontation and do NOT engage strangers in confrontation but I was panicking, remember?). At the same time Lilly is trying to get my attention (and when did she get totally naked?) as I pace back and forth across the deck so she pours a gallon jub of bubbles out on the deck and proceeds to slip and fall naked in the bubbles and starts WAILING. I am now at the height of my argument with owner boy and she's hysterical and I'm sweating and flipping out...

I can't even remember parts of the conversation but do remember saying something about my mom just dying... I'm sorry but I was really getting desperate and my poor mom, God rest her soul, isn't here and it sucks that she's gone so why not work what I have to work with??? The guy never became friendly but did finally say, "What do you want to come from this situation?" and I told him I wanted my dad (maybe I said my poor dad who's in mourning over my mom?) to have a lobster for Father's Day. That's all I wanted. We work out a financial agreement and I will keep the lobster and he will send my dad another one on Monday. He gets my dad's address and then tells me it's a remote area and live lobsters cannot be shipped to remote areas because it takes 2 days and they will die... Think fast, think fast... I call Kay on my cell in one ear with young-jerky-"owner" in the other ear and ask for her work address. We arrange for the lobster to be delivered to Kay's work on Tuesday (of course she was off on Monday what else can happen?). I asked her to take the lobster home and leave it for my dad to find.

In the meantime I had a live lobster sitting on my kitchen table and Andy was at work all day. I sat on the couch and cried and researched how to KILL a live lobster and how much time I had to play with here (hoping Andy could come home and do it for me). Realized the poor thing had to be cooked after reading many articles so here goes...

I did call over a neighbor for reinforcement.

Poor poor lobster crammed into my way too small pot.

Do you think he'll remember this? Now how to store it because I'm sure as hell not eating it.

Happy Father's Day Dad! I'm glad your lobster arrived and that you enjoyed eating it.

Lilly's New Room

As I mentioned, we moved Lilly into her new room. Enjoy.

Lazy Day

Today we stayed in our pajamas all day. I didn't put on a stitch of make-up (and did not answer the door - scary) or a bra! Hey, we all need a day like this don't we? Lilly also had her pj's on and no make-up or bra. We played with baby dolls, cleaned up, hung out, watched some TV, read books... It was a nice day. Lilly did pour the whole container of fish food in her beta's bowl so we did have to venture out around 5pm to get new fish food. I still wore my boxers and t-shirt but I threw on a little powder, brushed my teeth and hair, and put on a bra. So glad I didn't see anyone.

I realized today that I am in such a good place with Lilly. The last 6 months, while enjoyable, have been very hard on me as a first time mother. I was sifting my way through the muck of a strong-willed child feeling helpless most of the time. Today I realized that things have totally turned around! I have not put Lilly in a time-out in days, we enjoy each other so much (we always have but it's much more pleasant when I'm not disciplining 8 hrs a day), we sing songs, laugh, and I feel C-A-L-M. I have always loved Lilly's personality and humor. The defiance was getting tough but now, I simply talk to her and tell her to please change the behavior or she'll need a time out and she says, "Otay Mommy, I'm sowwy" and that's that! I mean it's really a beautiful thing. Her behavior has changed so much in a month's time and now I get to enjoy the personality we loved so very much.

We went into Hallmark after getting fish food. I was hesitant on taking her in without a stroller since the last time we were in a card store and she was "loose" she destroyed the place but I figured she's been doing so well. We walked in holding hands and chatting (love love love the conversations we have - her speech is so amazing now compared to where it was). She saw the chocolate and goodies at the checkout counter. She asked me, "Mommy I have that treat please?" and I told her that if she stayed with me and helped me pick out a card she could pick something out when we were finished - "Otay Mommy I love you." She stayed right with me chatting and showing me things. We picked out the card and she chose chocolate covered raisins. She told the lady, "I have chocolate please?" and they gave her her own little bag. She neatly folded the top over and said, "I wait home Mommy" and was saving them! She didn't even eat one! I told her she could enjoy them now and she said, "No thank you Mommy." *I have to admit this child has some great manners - always says please, thank you, and no thank you - and her latest is lots of I'm sorries which I'm working on with her (I don't want her to apologize for everything!).*

I guess my point through all this babbling is - with Lilly's behavior so much better, our days are really quite amazing and I'm back to totally loving this job.

Father's Day and My Birthday

Today we got to celebrate my 34th birthday and Father's Day in one special day! We woke up and exchanged gifts (Lilly was so excited). Andy got me a very generous gift certificate to a nail salon, another generous gift certificate to a very nice restaurant which we've never been to, and a Cuisinart blender and food processor! One of the best birthdays in the gift department that I can remember! I love to make Lilly and myself smoothies and this blender ROCKS. Lilly and I had a smoothie for breakfast while Andy made an omelet and perogies with toast. We gave Andy a collage of Lilly pictures, a new foot pump (his broke), and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on DVD. He is also going to buy himself a new suit. The remainder of the day was spent lounging around in pj's and enjoying some family time. We moved Lilly to her new room which was fun and then hung out until dinnertime.

For dinner we cooked out with our friends the DiNunzio's. They were very kind and brought me a cookie cake and a sundress which is very cute.

This is Jackie and I posing after I tried on the dress - of course I will wear a tank top under it or a strapless bra - no worries!
Jackie is behind me zipping it up. We were cracking up because I tried it on over my t-shirt and skirt. Eventually I shed my clothing and really tried it on and it's cute and I love it.

We had steak, chicken, and asparagus on the grill. We also had corn on the cob, bread, salad, and baked potatoes. It was really a delicious meal. For dessert I enjoyed a birthday song and some yummy cookie cake AND ice cream cake (Andy knows my favorite). Double desserts and very very delish.

Thanks for the phone calls, cards, and gifts. I really had a very nice birthday and I hope Andy enjoyed his special day as well. I am very blessed to have a loving husband who is also a wonderful father.

Hmph

Major Father's Day drama with my dad's gift. I cannot report on this yet since I don't want my dad to know... You will get the whole scoop on Tuesday night...

And because of this there is nothing good to write about today.

Oh wait - Lilly had her last gymnastics class and had a good time and showed off all her skills (it was show-off day). She walks the beam alone, did a front roll on the beam with Mr. Rick's help, jumps off a high mat and lands on a colored square with both feet, flips around a bar, and more. It is an unstructured program which is right up her alley. This was her activity with Daddy so they enjoyed their Saturday mornings together while I had some me time (usually doing errands alone which is so nice).

More tomorrow. Happy Father's Day to your father, husband, brother, or son.

Guilt

Took Lilly back to Kidz Korner today and I went and got a pedicure. I can't describe the guilt. I think I must secretly judge moms that drop their kids off and go do glamorous things because suddenly I felt like one of "them" and I couldn't shake it. I called my sidekick Krissy and shared how I was feeling and as usual she brought me back to reality and reminded me that I'm doing this FOR Lilly and that ultimately it's GOOD for her. She also reminded me that in September I will be dropping Lilly off 2 days a week for 3 hours each time and that this will prepare her for that - thanks Krissy!

I have struggled with guilt ever since Lilly was born. I mean intense guilt over really crazy things. When she was a couple days old I would sit watching her in the swing and have to go pick her up out of the swing because I felt so guilty that she was miserable (she was not giving me any reason to believe this). I used to say to Andy, "Do you think she's upset that she was born into this family?" and of course he thought I was nuts. For the first few months (well maybe 6 or so) I didn't want to leave the house because I felt horrible guilt putting her in the car seat so I compromised and would only allow myself 1 errand a day. I never let her cry... guilt. I kept her in the bassinet next to me for 6 months because of the guilt of putting her in her bedroom all alone. I obviously have not left her much... guilt. I cannot take away her binky for the guilt and I could go on and on and on.

So the moral of this story is - it's very hard for me to leave her at Kidz Korner but I'm fighting the guilt and hoping I'm doing the right thing for Lilly even though it feels wrong to me.

And of course she was totally happy there telling me "bye bye" and giving me a kiss. They said she colored, played with toys, ate snack and was perfect and delightful and adorable. They love her. When I picked her up she didn't see me for a few minutes so I spoke to the director in her office about payment, etc. and then I said, "Hey Lilly!" and she looked up and broke into hysterics when she saw me sobbing, "I missed you Mommy!" She does this. I don't know why. I know she was happy while she was there.

So where the guilt comes from I'll never know but I'm doing my best and learning as I go. I think I have learned many things through this parenting journey that will help me be a little less guilty with baby #2.

Play date

Today we had 3 boys over for a play date. It was a beautiful day and we stayed outside the whole time. We get shade in the backyard in the morning so it was nice and enjoyable outside. Lilly shared ALL her toys and her swing set which I did not foresee so another great day. She even let Caden use her very special seat on the swing set while she used the big kid seat.
Her little friend Will came too with his baby brother Colin whom Lilly adores. She is such a little mother. She has always tries to give Colin his cup, binky, toys, etc. She also loves to fidget with his accessories (shoes, socks, hat). I think she will be a very helpful big sister (think VERY helpful) and will love having a baby brother or sister. I tried to explain to Stacey, the boys' mom, that we play baby dolls all the time so a real life baby is really exciting to her! All of Lilly's friends are boys so I don't even know how she'd react to seeing a girl baby!
She also read Colin a book (over and over again). I think he was getting bored.
Here are the 3 kids all in the tiny 2 ft. baby pool we filled with warm water for baby Colin. So cute.

Good Day

Today was a good day. I felt like I had a NORMAL relationship with my sweet Lilly. Very little discipline was needed and when I did need to it was understood and respected. WOO HOO!

I decided to take Lilly to the last music class since we've skipped at least a month. I also wanted to see the moms and say hello and goodbye. Music is over until the fall and we won't be signing up again in the fall. We started this music class with the same people when Lilly was 9 months old. And she really did love it (until the very end).

I was confident in my approach as I was driving. If Lilly hit or kicked even once we were leaving. Even if it was 2 minutes after arriving. I would not let this embarrass me but remember that I was doing this for my child so that she would learn that Mommy means business (again, thanks to the professionals). I did however ignore my mentors advice (Mommy's know best) regarding prepping her about her behavior when traveling to a destination. I know Lilly and if I started going on and on about hitting and kicking she sure as hell was going to walk in and hit or kick. So I said nothing...

...and she did NOTHING! No hitting, no kicking, no pushing... Thank the Lord. I was on eggshells the whole time and a nervous wreck but I smiled and acted nonchalant and prayed, prayed, prayed. And it worked. She enjoyed music (was a bit revved up and did some wild play) and we made it to the end (the first time in 2 months). I was very proud of her (which I was also afraid to mention to her for fear she'd think - "Oh yeah, you're proud? Well I'll fix that!").

And today the couple times I warned her of an impending timeout (and she continued behavior) and then took her into the laundry room for the timeout she actually said, "Ok ok I sorry Mommy! I no do again!!" but I still put her in the timeout (that's hard to do) and she paid her time. It was the FIRST time she has cared about going into timeout. She didn't sing while in there or laugh or play. She cried and begged me to let her out. And that my dear is success!!!!

*And did I mention I've cooked 2 nights in a row (gasp) and the house is clean? What is happening to my life???

Bittersweet

Well, today we met a milestone (or at least I did). Due to the suggestion of some professionals I took Lilly to an hourly drop-off babysitting facility and abandoned, I mean left her there while I went grocery shopping. I tossed and turned all night worrying about some crazy crazy things that could happen (I won't even share the craziness). I had visited Kidz Korner last week and Lilly had played a little bit and while we were there she had said to me, "Mommy go home" and I said, "Oh you want to go home now?" and she said, "No, Mommy go home" which of course ripped my heart out but also gave me hope that she'd be happy there. Today we walked in and I told her I was going grocery shopping and would be back to get her and she kissed me good-bye and that was that... sniff, sniff.

I chose not to talk on my cell phone while I grocery shopped. I figured I'd take an hour completely to myself since this is a rare occurrence. So I browsed and shopped and let people in front of me in line and said things like, "Oh no problem I am in no rush" etc. Wow, what an experience - grocery shopping alone!! By the time I got out of there (for some odd reason there was a huge Tuesday rush at Shop Rite this morning) it had been an hour so I went back to pick Lilly up (yes, I was speeding).

I walked in and Lilly ran from across the room shouting, "MOMMY I MISSED YOU!!" over and over again. But ... she was happy! And that was the greatest feeling ever. She had fun playing and eating a snack. In fact before we left she played a little bit more with the train table.
I will be trying to drop her off a few hours a week to get some me-time and for Lilly to have some experiences with other children and with new adults disciplining her (which of course she needed none of today). Our goal is that she will discontinue hitting and/or kicking other children and will listen to the adults in charge and learn that the behavior is unacceptable. *Before you start thinking we don't discipline her - my gosh we do - and often - but Lilly doesn't care and she thrives off of the discipline.*