On Thursday I received an email from DHL saying a shipping label was being printed for 1 package "To Kristin From Kristin" and I thought, hmmm, I wonder if they have the right shipping address? So I called them and was told it was no problem and they would check my account and call me back. They never called back so I assumed they had the right information.
Well, my dad should have been waiting at MY house in NJ on Saturday because when I arrived home from gymnastics with Lilly this was on my front porch...
I went into a panic. How the hell am I going to get this LIVE (adorable, breathing, beady eyes) lobster to VA TODAY? Oh gosh, panicking - searching for the phone number and finally found it. Called the company and told them what happened. Very young-think-18-not-so-nice kid on the phone says, "You got the guys name you spoke to? How'm I s'posed to know you even called and we were busy yesterday so he probably got busy" - are you kidding me? I was floored. I am holding the phone shaking and pissed. I go around and around with him until finally I can't take it anymore and I say, "Listen, I don't think that you and I are getting anywhere so I would like to speak to a supervisor about this" and he says, "Well that's funny 'cuz I'm the owner."
Shit shit shit shit. That's all I could think at that moment.
"Listen buddy, I cannot pay for 2 live lobsters and I need to remedy this situation..." blah blah blah it escalates into a shouting match (which regardless of what my husband would tell you about our communication I do NOT like confrontation and do NOT engage strangers in confrontation but I was panicking, remember?). At the same time Lilly is trying to get my attention (and when did she get totally naked?) as I pace back and forth across the deck so she pours a gallon jub of bubbles out on the deck and proceeds to slip and fall naked in the bubbles and starts WAILING. I am now at the height of my argument with owner boy and she's hysterical and I'm sweating and flipping out...
I can't even remember parts of the conversation but do remember saying something about my mom just dying... I'm sorry but I was really getting desperate and my poor mom, God rest her soul, isn't here and it sucks that she's gone so why not work what I have to work with??? The guy never became friendly but did finally say, "What do you want to come from this situation?" and I told him I wanted my dad (maybe I said my poor dad who's in mourning over my mom?) to have a lobster for Father's Day. That's all I wanted. We work out a financial agreement and I will keep the lobster and he will send my dad another one on Monday. He gets my dad's address and then tells me it's a remote area and live lobsters cannot be shipped to remote areas because it takes 2 days and they will die... Think fast, think fast... I call Kay on my cell in one ear with young-jerky-"owner" in the other ear and ask for her work address. We arrange for the lobster to be delivered to Kay's work on Tuesday (of course she was off on Monday what else can happen?). I asked her to take the lobster home and leave it for my dad to find.
In the meantime I had a live lobster sitting on my kitchen table and Andy was at work all day. I sat on the couch and cried and researched how to KILL a live lobster and how much time I had to play with here (hoping Andy could come home and do it for me). Realized the poor thing had to be cooked after reading many articles so here goes...
I did call over a neighbor for reinforcement.
Poor poor lobster crammed into my way too small pot.
Do you think he'll remember this? Now how to store it because I'm sure as hell not eating it.
Happy Father's Day Dad! I'm glad your lobster arrived and that you enjoyed eating it.
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